« Question: Does Sergio Ever Get Sick Of Looking Like A Dork? »
Answer: Apparently not.
Adidas has crafted some sort of weird 1980s tracksuit inspired trouser, and has anointed poor Sergio Garcia as the one chosen to present us with their latest and (ahem), greatest offering.
Perhaps Adidas feels that only Sergio has the personality to carry off this latest offering abomination with such confidence and bravado that the golf retail masses will accept this trouser design without resistance.
Not so fast sheeple.
Sergio Garcia gives us a glimpse of the three striped half-leg wonder. (Hunter Martin/Getty Images North America)
This latest offering from Adidas Golf is extremely puzzling as the stripes only extend half way down the right leg, leaving the left leg completely unscathed. This will make even the biggest Sergio fanboy keep his wallet in his European carry-all.
What is exceedingly odd about Adidas Golf is that their range is not consistently horrible - far from it. There are many terrific items within the range that can be integrated into any player's wardrobe - Dustin Johnson proves it - but for some reason, Adidas has a tendency to lose the plot from time to time, and usually with Sergio as its poster boy.
To illustrate, we look back to those heady days at the 1999 PGA Championship when Garcia could actually roll his rock and was passionate about the game, unlike today's Sergio who too often tends to for someone, or something, to blame.
Travel back in time with us now to what is the defining moment of Garcia's career to date. Take specific note of the blue/green Adidas buttonless golf smock while you relive the moment and you'll see the origins of a disturbing trend.
Flash forward to the 2006 Open Championship at Royal Liverpool. Sergio is one shot out of the lead heading into Sunday, yet he shows up for the final round dressed head to toe in canary yellow.
Sergio Garcia at the 2006 Open Championship at Royal Liverpool.Rather than making a statement that day against he-who-shall-go-unmentioned-on-this-blog with his clubs, he proceeds to fold up like a cheap suitcase.
A canary yellow suitcase.
In the eleven years since the hit-and-hope at the PGA and the four years post Tweety Bird, Chapeau Noir can only come up with three reasons why Sergio puts up with these get-ups.
- Sergio has been brow beaten into submission by his handlers at the unholy alliance who have convinced him that rugby pants really are the next big thing.
- The unholy alliance pays Sergio an ungodly sum of money to dress him at will. Or,
- Sergio actually likes this stuff.
Chapeau Noir really hopes it's number two.
As for what's next for Sergio, it says here that once he stops dressing for dollars and starts dressing with dignity and class, his first major will soon follow. We all know The Player's Championship doesn't count.
Chapeau Noir
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