« Hat Day In Monterey »

Back in his middle school days, at the formative age of just 13 years, Chapeau Noir decided it was high time to throw his hat into the political ring, running for and gaining office in student council as the Minister of Special Days and Dances, a wacky yet accurate title born to align with Canada's parliamentary system.

Chapeau Noir's first order of business? Hat Day of course!

Yes, this special day in honour of the all mighty hat had charms that did not go unappreciated by the young Chapeau Noir.

The unbridled enthusiasm from a giddy student body that resulted from Hat Day was impressive. But Chapeau Noir must give credit where credit is due, and make no mistake, for it was the hat, and it continues to be the hat above all other accessories, that make a definitive statement about your personality, your ethos, your mojo.

Not only as a golfer, but as a person.

It is of little wonder that Hat Day was such a rousing success amongst his peers. Getting his ass kicked after school behind the dumpster that very day was merely an unrelated happenstance and inconsequential to the success of Hat Day circa 1980.

And so it is with this we turn our eyes to thoughts to this week on the PGA Tour.

Wednesday at the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am is 3M Celebrity Challenge Day. Apparently this is some manner of friendly competition by which the winner is determined by a complex system of adding up 'scores'. It's also an excuse to get all the celebs in one spot long enough for them to chum around and ham it up for the cameras. The definitive photo op if there ever was one.

What this particular photo op reveals is that the power of the almighty chapeau is not lost on the celebrities lucky enough to find themselves on the Montery Penninsula. And, as any enthusiastic Hat Day participant knows, there are winners and losers at the end of the school day, so let's gather in the lunch room at 3 PM to find out who has won what.

No prizes will be awarded today, but to the winners goes prestige and to the losers, ridicule. The latter of which will be doled out in healthy amounts.

Please note that to optimize your viewing enjoyment, Chapeau Noir will present the most tasteful of the hat wearing celebs first. Also please note that what qualifies for celebrity these days is specious at best.

Be sure to set your coffee down carefully to avoid the at times undesirable spit take as you will encounter increasingly ridiculous excuses for hats as you scroll further down the page.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.

Oliver Hudson (Actor)

Oliver's stylish driving cap compliments his classic look. Don't know who Oliver Hudson is? You are not alone.

(Stuart Franklin/Getty Images North America)Josh Duhamel (Actor)

Colin Montgomerie called from the 1992 US Open and he wants his visor back, pronto. Sailor hats win by default. Because they're sailors, wearing sailor hats.

(Stuart Franklin/Getty Images North America)

Don Cheadle (Actor) | Kenny G (Musician)

Kenny G, the world's most renowned saxaphonist (because apparently someone has to be), is obviously unaware of the rage building up inside playing partner Don Cheadle. Kenny is proud of the hat he won last year during his club championship and wears it every chance he gets. Don Cheadle exudes style, and apparently shares the distain many of us feel for Kenny. Poor Kenny.

(Stuart Franklin/Getty Images North America)George Lopez (Actor) | Kelly Slater (Surfer)

Lopez sports his now near iconic backwards cap while Slater stays true to his surf heritage. Props to both for not putting on airs.

(Stuart Franklin/Getty Images North America)

Andy Garcia (Actor) | Jeffrey Donovan (Actor)

As Frank Nobilo said on the Golf Channel, "Here's actor Andy Garcia, evoking the look of a crazed painter". Well said Frank. Here Garcia is framing his next shot a la Frank Capra while Jeffrey Donovan digs for change for the bus. As for the young Donovan, his mother knitted him a cozy hat, but this isn't grade school.

(Stuart Franklin/Getty Images North America)

Chris Berman (Sportscaster) | Tony Romo (Dallas Cowboy Quarterback)

Bottom line, Berman needs to check himself because that straw hat belongs in that Amish museum in Pennsylvania. Tony Romo could have done much better than dropping by the Cowboys store on his way to the tournament.

(Stuart Franklin/Getty Images North America)Huey Lewis (Musician)

Perhaps this is a cry for help from a man who has not seen a single paying gig since 1987. Someone needs to have an intervention with old Huey, and Chapeau Noir is up for the task. First things first though - keep him the heck away from John Daly in the parking lot. Those trousers are an unmitigated disaster that even a simple orange Titleist hat could not save.

(Stuart Franklin/Getty Images North America)